The following is an excerpt from The Joy of Being Disorganized by Pam Young.
Our lives are hectic in this 21st century, which makes establishing peace in our homes more of a necessity than ever. We need a sanctuary from the frenzy. When our homes make us feel safe and cozy, they become a refuge where we can recharge our spirits that can get pulled in so many directions out in the world. Peace is a personal matter. What defines peace for me may not come close to your definition. When I think of peace, a lot of “R” words fly around in my mind—like release, rejuvenate, refresh, relax, and rest. Whatever your definition of peace, consider that you are not just a homemaker or a housekeeper, you are a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. The tone of your home rests in your hands. That’s a tall order, but when you reduce the clutter in your home, it’s much easier to keep the peace.
In Chapter One, I gave you a brief lesson in the art of delegating, and I said you have to know what has to be done in order to get help. When you finish reading this chapter, you’ll see just what you GET to delegate. I capitalized GET to emphasize that the list of jobs in a home is for everyone who lives in the home and can work for food. Having the jobs you deem important for a peaceful home out of your head and onto a list will make it easier for you to delegate many of those jobs to others.
What’s very interesting about delegating is that once a job has been assigned to someone else and you are no longer responsible for doing it, you’ll find that your inner child will be more willing to do that job as well. For example, Terry does all dishes for every meal and, with that chore off my shoulders, Nelly feels free. In that freedom, often she’ll have the thought, “Pam, let’s surprise Terry and wash all the pots and pans before we call him to dinner,” or “Let’s tell him after breakfast that we’ll do the dishes because we know all the extra work he has to do right now.” Also, when jobs are delegated and there is an offer to help by the delegator, there is so much gratitude for the help! Before you know it, the delegatee will return the favor and do one of the chores on the delegator’s list. It’s a beautiful cycle!
As the peacekeeper in your home, you are only responsible for managing your energy. The tools you use to manage your energy consist of the twelve elements from Chapter Eight and the IHOP daily focus below.
IHOP Sacred Order: Daily Focus
In the mid-90s, Carolyn Myss, the author of several popular spiritual books about healing, came into my life on the wings of one of her cassette tape series called Energy Anatomy. At the time, my personal life was fabulous except for one glaring detail; Peggy, my only sibling, co-writer, and business partner became very ill and the lifeblood of our work began to quickly dry up.
Wanting my sister to get well, I latched onto Carolyn’s work in the field of spiritual healing and she helped me to heal myself. I would walk miles every day with my Walkman and my dog, Chelsea Marie, listening to Carolyn’s wisdom and insight. Unfortunately, my sister didn’t get well, but I was given the courage and energy to continue writing and helping disorganized people in order to keep our company afloat. I learned early on there was nothing I could do to help her with her illness, but I was able to let go, knowing she was in God’s hands.
On one of my walks while listening to Carolyn, I was struck with a sweet moment. Carolyn’s “chocolate” spirituality and my “peanut butter” down-to-earth, get-organized methods came together in a peanut-butter-cup epiphany down by the little league baseball field. I figured out a way to fuse Carolyn’s sacred ideas into my organizing ideas, and I couldn’t get back home fast enough to write it all down.
Carolyn’s message was based on her discovery of the similarities of three of the major religions: Eastern Vedic religions and their theory of seven chakras, Christianity and the seven sacraments, and Judaism and its Tree of Life with seven elements. The similarities are no coincidence and demonstrate the profound truth that we are all one regardless of our religions. There is high-voltage healing power in the truth and the meanings behind the seven elements.
The Dalai Lama said, “All major religious traditions carry basically the same message that is love, compassion, and forgiveness, and the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.”
That’s when it struck me that there are seven days in the week and if each day were dedicated to one of the seven elements, sacraments, chakras, and branches on a sacred tree, our days would be filled with God’s energy and so would we. Nelly got excited about it too. Her thought was, there are seven colors in the rainbow and seven notes in the scale, so each day could not only have the meaning behind the sacred elements, they could have a special color and musical note as well!
It’s important for me to tell you that as far as religion goes, I’m a Christmushindjewbud. I’ve studied all the major religions when I studied to become a minister in my twenties, and I saw the oneness in them all. I never tell in my writings what house of worship I attend (when I do) because it draws lines we don’t need. I’ve always enjoyed the questions, “Are you LDS?” “Are you Catholic?” “Are you Jewish?” “Are you a Buddhist?” Usually the question comes from someone in the religion they think I must be. What a wonderful thing!
According to Eastern religions like Buddhism and Hinduism, chakras are like seven computer data banks where every thought you’ve ever had is recorded and is an energetic complement to your physical anatomy. In Carolyn Myss’ words, “your biography becomes your biology.” Start thinking of yourself as an energetic being and start discussing your feelings with your inner child and life-long partner.
The Tree of Life is a symbolic diagram that has been used by Kabbalists (Judaism’s most ancient, mystical sect) for several thousand years. It explains how energy flows down from God into the world.
The two common teachings in the Judaic, Christian, and Vedic religions are: thou shalt not kill, and live in the now. So, don’t kill anybody and don’t hold onto thoughts that take power away from you. You already know that negativity zaps your energy and drains your spirit, but I’m guessing you don’t know what happens to your spirit if you kill somebody, and I don’t think you’ll want to find out.
Because of technology, science now knows we are energy beings. If you are aware of your thoughts and emotions, you know you are always running at different frequencies of energy. Music is a great frequency changer. So is bad news, good news, sunny mornings, puppies, food, and the list goes on and on. When we practice being aware of our feelings at any given time, we can stop letting negative emotions take from the energy we’re given every day.
I try to stay conscious of where my frequency is moment-by-moment. Most of the time I operate like an air-traffic controller, tracking the thoughts that buzz around inside my head and redirecting negative thoughts before they have a chance to land and become negative emotions. But sometimes those negative emotions sort of sneak in. That’s when Nelly helps because she knows how to get my attention. You know how your real children can sense when you’re not all there and they’ll do anything to turn your focus back to them? That’s what Nelly does. She’ll start out thinking something like, “I’m sad.” I’m not sure how many times she thinks it before it comes right out of my mouth and I say, “I’m sad,” but I know by the time I verbalize the emotion it’s been coming and going for at least ten minutes, sometimes more. I have so much fun practicing being conscious of when I’m losing my energy and stopping it with just a simple conversation with Nelly. Here’s a discussion we had recently while writing the chapter that included Aunt Tottie:
“I’m sad.”
“Okay, Nelly, let’s talk. When did you start feeling sad and what caused it?”
“When you wrote about Aunt Tottie, I started thinking about our cousin Maggie.”
“Oh, I know, she was just like Aunt Tottie, so fun and disorganized. And remember, she turned out to be super successful in spite of her disorder!”
“Yeah, but we never kept in touch with her after Aunt Tottie died and I miss her.”
“Wow, I wonder how long it’s been? Let’s see, the last time we were with her was when The Sidetracked Sister’s Happiness File came out. Holy cow, that was in 1983. It’s been 30 years!”
“We shoulda kept in touch!”
“Well, we’ll find her. Would that make you happy?”
“Uh huh, I can’t wait to talk to her!”
It took us three days to connect with Maggie, who lives in Los Angeles, and we’ve promised each other some catch-up time, which Nelly is really looking forward to. It’s this kind of talk between you and your inner child that can really lift your mood and also your energy frequency. I have this sense that when we are experiencing the high-frequency emotions, like joy, gratitude, hope, great expectancy, love, etc., we are actually feeding our bodies with energy it needs. Since everything is energy, I believe our cells get nourishment from our food as well as our positive feelings.
Implementing the Sacred Order Daily Focus
As you read this next section, you might find it bumping into your beliefs. I hope you can have an open mind and be able to see beyond the barriers our religions can put up. If you aren’t a religious person, I hope you can find it helpful in creating a weekly plan that will give you more joy and peace in your home. I’ve outlined the seven daily focuses below. Remember, this whole idea is supposed to help you use your energy in a sacred way. But if you start to feel like it’s too much to do as you read each of the seven different days I’ve outlined below, just stop. You don’t have to do everything the way I do it; it must be meaningful to you. If you don’t want to actually implement the ideas below, at least make out the dividers, so you’ll have them in your card file box if you decide to try the plan on another day.
If, for the next year, you were able to wake up in the morning, acknowledge what day it is, know your daily focus, be happy to start your day, feel grateful to be alive, and be ready to use your day’s gift of energy as only you can, that would be perfect. That’s the whole point.
Here is a synopsis of my week.
Baptism
The essence of baptism is about your earthly beginning and what your family and ancestors taught you about spirit. One day a week, I focus the energy I’ve been given towards my family. My prayers are centered on my present family (my children, their spouses, and my grandchildren) and my past family (my beloved parents who have passed and my ancestors I never met). I thank them for their part in why I’m here today and what was given to me in spiritual education. When I shower on my baptism day, I baptize myself, thanking my family for their legacy of faith they passed on to me, as well as thanking myself for coming here from my spiritual home to this physical one.
As far as the focus for my baptism day, it’s the day I focus on the family. Saturday is probably the best day for this focus when you have young children. It doesn’t mean you don’t pay any attention to your family for the rest of the week; it just means it’s the day to schedule fun and work involving the family. It can also be the day to schedule a family meeting and it needs to be posted on the wall calendar for the family to see.
[ According to Eastern philosophy, those beliefs your family placed upon you are recorded in the first Chakra, which is at the base of your spine.
Y On the Judaic Tree of Life, starting at the base is Shekhinah, which is the symbol of creation.
$ The color Nelly chose for baptism day is green. But feel free to pick any of the seven colors in the rainbow for your baptism day.
Do is my note for this day. “Do, a deer, a female deer.” I smile because Nelly loves to hum it.
Communion
The essence of communion is our connection to community: our friends, co-workers, colleagues, and neighbors. My prayers are centered around my community of neighbors, friends, employees and those with whom I interact on my website. In my prayer time, I let go of my need to control events and other people. I remove my fear that I am not enough and reinforce my knowing that I’m not in competition with anyone. When I focus my energy on accepting each person connected to me in life as part of the Christ within, I lose all fear. Knowing my source of energy comes through the Christ within and it is inexhaustible, my relationships thrive (including my relationship with money).
The focus on community takes me out of my home to do errands and I schedule any community work for that day. I sing in a chorus on my communion day and feel the harmony from that group all through my week. When I shower on communion day, I focus on the truth that we are all one. For me, there’s something very spiritual about shower time. I guess it’s because the luxurious hot water pouring over me causes me to shut out the world and allows me to direct my thoughts more purely and inward. I love to set my intention before I step in the water by naming the day I’m in, and Nelly likes to pretend the water is her color-of-the-day.
According to Eastern philosophy, your connection to the world is recorded in the second chakra, which is up a notch on your spine from the first chakra.
Y On the Judaic Tree of Life, the second level up is Yesod, which is the symbol of foundation.
$ The color Nelly chose for community day is yellow. (She pees in the shower every day, but on baptism day she can’t bring herself to imagine the water coming down on her yellow.)
Re is the note. “Re, a drop of golden sun.”
Confirmation
Confirmation is all about confirming your personal honor code with yourself, or as the Bible puts it, “to thine own self be true.” Confirmation day is MY day and it’s a free day to do mostly what I want to do. I make it easy on myself in as many areas as I can. Laundry consists of towels and linens that are easy to fold. I also grill outside to eliminate having to clean the stove.
In Sidetracked Home Executives, we had a weekly plan, and in it we had a free day to do just what we wanted to do. It’s so fun with my busy schedule to continue to insist on this one day to practice enlightened selfishness. I really do just what I want to do. When I shower on confirmation day, I thank each part of my body from my head to my toes for its health and support of me while I’m using it.
[ According to Eastern philosophy, your connection to your higher self, your soul, is in the third chakra, and it is located along your spine a little above your belly button. It’s right where your solar plexus is.
Y On the Judaic Tree of Life, the third level is Neza, which is the symbol of majesty and endurance. (Remember your majesty, your highness!)
$ The color Nelly chose for confirmation day is orange.
Me is the note. “Me, the name I call myself.”
Marriage
The sacrament of marriage is all about love. As we grow spiritually, we begin to understand that, in order to love someone intimately, we have to love our own being first or the marriage will not survive in joy as it’s meant to. Marriage is the perfect advanced education for learning about one’s self. When one or both people in an intimate relationship have learned everything there is to learn and subsequently grown from the learning, the couple most likely will part. Being single after being married gave me the opportunity to use those lessons I learned in the marriage to become more understanding of myself and to love myself in a deeper spiritual way. It also prepared me to have a life partner whom I adore and who adores me and allows me to be myself.
I have just started to embrace the masculine part of me which has given me more of a “spine.” Terry, on the other hand is getting to know the importance of his feminine side (which many men are doing today). That doesn’t mean he’s sobbing and writing poetry all the time and I’m moving heavy furniture and ordering people around. It just means we are balancing our masculine and feminine aspects so there is more unity and peace as we go through our days.
On marriage day, I focus on our master bedroom. It’s the day I change the sheets and it’s Terry’s and my date night. It’s a moderate cleaning day (there’s not much cleaning done in the kitchen because we go out to dinner) and because Terry typically does the dishes and I cook, we both get a break from our ordinary routine on marriage day.
[ According to Eastern philosophy, the fourth chakra is located along the spine beside your heart.
Y On the Judaic Tree of Life, the fourth level is Tif’eret, which is the symbol of beauty. (Just think, our creator uses beauty to bring us together. Remember how you used to spend time getting ready for a date?)
$ The color Nelly chose is red…and no, I don’t wear red on every date night.
Fa is the note. “Fa, a long, long way to run.”
Confession
The essence of confession is all about your will and judgment. When you admit to someone about a wrong choice or wrong thought you’ve made, you automatically lift a burden off your heart. I remember getting caught in a lie when I was seven and how free I felt when I came clean to my parents. I had told my first grade teacher, Mrs. MacElroy, that we had a new baby at our house. (My sister was two and a half and hardly a newborn.) My parents must have talked to my teacher and she congratulated them on the new arrival.
When they confronted me, I burst into tears and admitted the lie. Mom helped me figure out what was behind my lying: I wanted attention and certainly news of a new baby got that for me once. I wouldn’t doubt that it was also a wake-up call for my parents to throw a little more attention my way. I do remember my parents were very careful to give my sister and me equal affection and attention, but my adorable little sister was continually gushed over by friends and relatives who were not as sensitive to matching hugs and kisses. I’ve never forgotten the lesson, and I make sure I give equal notice to older siblings when there is an adorable baby on the scene.
We can partake of confession without going through someone else if we can be totally honest with ourselves. By being alert and aware of where we are sending our energy, we can face our mistakes, forgive ourselves, and do better. I imagine that our thoughts are like e-mails and they go where they are sent. When we think badly about someone and that person has low self-esteem, he or she will accept the negative thought on some level. However, if the person is in a positive and loving state of mind, the negative thought returns to the sender, unopened. We can’t afford thinking negative thoughts about anyone or letting low self-esteem be an open door for others’ negativity.
My focus for confession day is on planning, correspondence, and bookkeeping. It’s my mental day and I also refer to it as my desk day. It’s the day I straighten up my desk, pay bills, and file paperwork. My prayers center on calling my spirit back from the past and future. I have a very strong will and this one day a week I remind myself to let Thy will be done, not mine. I want to be willing and open to what God wants me to be and do. When I let my ego run my week (which usually means I’ve ignored the guidance from God), I always have a lot more work to do on my confession day getting back that sacred connection. We are always being guided and protected in every second of our time here on earth, and it’s really up to us to listen and follow that guidance. When I do follow my guidance system, my workload almost disappears. It just takes practice. Focusing on this one day a week will help you spread it to every day.
According to Eastern philosophy, the fifth chakra is located along the spine, even with the Adam’s apple. Just think, it’s where your voice box is located; that magical place that turns your thoughts into tangible words.
Y On the Judaic Tree of Life, the fifth level is Hesed and symbolizes judgment and mercy.
$ Nelly picked blue for confession day.
So is the note. “So, a needle pulling thread.”
Ordination
When a minister is ordained, he/she is given the authority to administer God’s word as he/she sees it. God doesn’t need a go-between. God is within each and every one of us and it’s a matter of taking time to know this. By letting the Divine Spirit direct your life, you are ordained. On ordination day (mine’s Sunday), I focus on the sacred, and I go to church or out in nature (they both work for me). I love my church community, and I receive a monthly magazine which keeps me connected. I also visit a website that keeps me abreast of teachers I want to see.
We need a sacred place in our homes for spiritual retreat—a place where we can have quiet time and it makes us happy to be in it. Ritual is important if it helps you to calm down, relax, and become aware of the love that always surrounds you. Just like we have a specific place to sleep, it’s nice to have a specific place to soak up spirit.
[ According to Eastern philosophy, the sixth chakra is even with the third eye (that’s the place in the forehead where some people place a jewel). It has to do with the mind and it is through this center that we receive God’s direction and guidance.
On the Judaic Tree of Life, the sixth level is Hokhmah, which symbolizes understanding and wisdom.
$ Nelly picked indigo.
La is the note. “La, a note to follow so.”
Extreme Unction (Alias: Last Rights)
The essence of extreme unction is burying the dead. It’s all about closure and letting go of what was. I picked Monday for my extreme unction day and it’s the day I tie up loose ends from the week before. It’s a great day to see how much I can add to that Goodwill container we keep in our garage. All week I get to say, “I’ll do it Monday,” knowing I really will.
According to Eastern philosophy, the seventh chakra is located at the crown of the head. Its essence is oneness.
On the Judaic Tree of Life, the seventh level is Keter and symbolizes the crown.
$ Nelly picked violet.
Ti is the note. “Ti, a drink with jam and bread.”
If you’re going to try this out, put the 3x5 dividers in your ME section of the card file. Please have fun with this tool! I’ve been playing with this weekly plan for more than a decade, and it’s so fun to wake up each morning and start my day by naming the sacrament, the chakra, the branch on the tree, the color of the day, and Nelly loves humming the note. But if it doesn’t interest you, please at least find a way to make each day have a special focus. In Sidetracked Home Executives, we had a weekly plan, but it was void of sacredness. Weaving the sacred into my daily and weekly responsibilities helps make my week run smoothly—but remember there are millions of people who don’t have a weekly plan (or even know what day it is) and they are doing just fine. This has to be something your highness wants to do as well as your inner child.
IHOP Weekly Cleaning Focus: Five Departments
Divide, Focus, and Clean (Delegate)
This division of labor was inspired by my brother-in-law, Danny Jones. He weeded his yard according to the five zones in his sprinkler system, so he was on a rotation schedule that kept his yard and garden beautiful and weed-free. Back in the day, Peggy and I adapted his outdoor divide-and-conquer routine for inside our homes. It really works!
The premise is primarily to divide your home into five departments to correspond to the five weeks in each month. If you leaf through your calendar, you’ll notice week one and five of some months do not have seven days in them, but the middle three weeks do. It’s important to make week one and five lighter workloads than weeks two, three, and four, since you won’t have the full amount of days available to you. Once you've divided your house into five departments, you can focus your cleaning attention to the area of the house that corresponds to the week you are in.
For example, I use this program, and I am in Week Two as I write this. For me, Department Two is our kitchen and laundry room. We do any and all organizing and cleaning in the kitchen and the laundry room in this week. (So, once a month they get special cleaning and organizing attention.) If we see that we got behind on things because of the holidays or summer vacation and such, and I see that the master bedroom has gotten away from us, I just say to that mess in the bedroom, “Shut up, we’ll take care of you next week because you are in Department Three.” Don’t feel overwhelmed by your messes and start mixing up your weeks. Your messes in other rooms will be right there waiting for you when their own weeks rolls around. This part of the plan is to help you focus on one area or department at a time, knowing you aren’t procrastinating if you put off some mess, you are just postponing it until its scheduled week.
Here is how I’ve divided our home into the five departments. Be sure to customize your division of labor to work for you.
Take five blank dividers and write Department One on the first one, Department Two on the second one, and so on. Write on the body of the divider what is in that week. For instance, if you are going to follow my division of labor, you’d write: Week One is the entryway, front porch and dining room; and on another one you’d write: Week Two is the kitchen, and so on. Put the dividers and the description cards behind the DELEGATE divider.
If you’d like to try out my division of labor schedule, it corresponds to FlyLady’s use of this division-of-labor idea. She calls them zones because that’s what my sister and I first called them. We gave FlyLady permission to use the idea, and if you want to have daily reminders from her about what zone (department) you are in, sign up for her e-mails at www.flylady.net.
Now here’s the list you’ve been waiting for (or maybe you haven’t). I put a round bullet next to each of my daily tasks at the top of each category. Ultimately, you get to decide how often the tasks should be done. Go down the list and customize it for your family. Cross off tasks that don’t apply and add ones not on my list that apply to your home and family.
Once you’ve customized the list, make out one 3x5 card with all the daily tasks for each room, and put each card in its respective room in an inconspicuous place. For example, I have my daily kitchen tasks card taped inside one of my kitchen cupboards. It gives the person cleaning up the kitchen a checklist of what has to be accomplished in the kitchen for the day. Then make out one 3x5 card for each task, and file those cards in your card file box in front of the appropriate department divider. Using the kitchen again as an example, I have all the kitchen tasks that aren’t daily chores filed in front of my Department Two divider. So every month, when week two starts, I go to my card file and there are the tasks to delegate to my husband, my housekeeper, and me.
Any jobs like paint the walls in a room are really seasonal jobs. You can make out cards for project-type jobs and file them behind a divider marked SEASONAL or YEARLY.
Some of the jobs like Plan Menu, will probably go into your ME section to be done on your confession day, which is also your planning and desk day.
TASK LIST
Kitchen
Wash canisters and knick-knacks
Wash and polish woodwork
Clean dishwasher door
Polish faucets
Wash window over sink
Wash floor
Shake scatter rugs
Range/Oven/Microwave
Scour/replace drip pans
Scour rims
Clean under drip pans
Clean microwave inside
Clean range hood
Clean oven inside
Refrigerator/Freezer
Defrost freezer
Clean inside
Inventory frozen food
Clean drip pan under freezer
Cupboards/Drawers
Empty and wash shelves
Change shelf paper
Clean cupboard doors
Clean fan
Paint/wash walls, ceilings
Wash/dry clean curtains
Clean toaster, can opener
Clean and disinfect cutting board
Clean under sink
Clean light fixtures
Clean telephone
Bathroom
Clean shower stall
Clean and organize cupboards and drawers
Wash shower curtain
Wash scatter rugs
Wash/dry clean curtains
Wash mirror
Wash windows
Wash (paint) walls, ceiling
Clean/polish tile
Wash floor
Clean and polish woodwork
Polish countertops
Clean brushes and combs
Cobwebs
Bedrooms
Turn mattress
Wash mattress pad, bedding
Change linens
Clean under bed
Vacuum
Polish furniture
Dust furniture
Dust picture frames
Clean and organize closets and drawers
Wash windows inside
Cobwebs
Sort seasonal clothing
Living room, Rec room, Dining room
Vacuum carpet
Shampoo carpet
Dust furniture
Polish furniture
Wash windows inside
Dust picture frames
Wash ornaments
Curtains and drapes (wash, dry clean)
Mirrors
Move furniture (vacuum under)
Dust lampshades
Clean walls
Paint walls
Cobwebs
Clean furnace vents
Miscellaneous
Clean light diffusing bowls (the pretty bowls over your lights, where all the dead bugs are)
Clean laundry shelves
Clean laundry floor
Mend/iron
Hand washables
Bathe dog
Polish shoes
Bake
Plan menu
Make grocery list
Water plants
Fertilize plants
Clean off fingerprints on light switches
Dust high places/ledges
Clean purse
Repot plants
Outside of home
Patio/deck (clean and sweep)
Sweep porch and walks
Mow lawn
Gardening
Clean eaves
Pruning
Septic tank cleaned
Clean out car
Wash car
Car tune-up
Carpool children
Visiting, volunteer work
Dry cleaners
Post office
Library
Grocery shopping
Carpools
Go to work
Desk work
Make appointments
Write letters
Bookkeeping
Income tax preparation
Pay bills
Special projects
Plan vacations
Plan Christmas
Family
Family council
Church
Children’s lessons
Candlelight dinner
Husband’s regular commitments
Dinner out
Breakfast out
Baby
Formula
Wash bottles/nipples
Change
Bathe
Clip nails
Wash clothes
Wash diapers
Nurse/bottle feed
Personal activities
Regular appointments (note departure time, not arrival time)
Haircuts
Dentist
Doctor
Classes
Self-improvement
Shave legs
Manicure
Pedicure
Fun shopping
Lunch out
Hobbies
Friends
Telephoning
Errands
Children’s activities
Requests from family
Christmas activities list
Wrap presents for mailing
Mail Christmas cards and letters
Mail packages
Make Christmas decorations
Get the tree
Christmas cards
Address Christmas cards
Write Christmas letter ONLY if you are a good writer
Plan Christmas menu
Put up house lights
Decorate tree
Decorate house
Take children shopping
Christmas caroling
Work on church program
Help plan kids’ party at school
Other Priorities in the IHOP Plan
There are some very important activities I hope you’ll include in your week. Allow for one hour of rest midday. Make out a 3x5 card that says Recharge and put it in your ME section. Listen to music, nap, mediate, or just daydream, but allow for it. I’m so sure it’s the right thing to do. Our country doesn’t give much credence to this, and we are experiencing an epidemic of chronic illnesses. Our bodies need time to recharge in the middle of each day. We’re better at making sure our cell phones are charged than we are about recharging ourselves. Having that 3x5 card reminder will make such a difference in your energy and performance throughout your day.
Watch at least two movies per week, your favorite television dramas, or sporting events and games. Make out a 3x5 to help remind you that this downtime is important too.
I’m happy to tell you that I no longer need my personal 3x5 cards to remind me what I want and need to do. That’s the beauty of habits! The 3x5 cards are just like crutches. Once a leg is healed, crutches are no longer needed. Once an activity is a habit, you no longer need something to remind you to do it. For a long time, I have not been exercising regularly and it’s one of the twelve elements I believe makes for a balanced life. (I used to walk five miles a day, six days a week for eight years.) Needless to say, the fact that I haven’t been exercising is constantly nagging me because I know it’s good to have exercise in my daily routine. Since I’ve memorized the twelve elements, they are embedded in my daily routine so I no longer need to use the cards to remind me. Usually, I can stop at any point in my day and ask myself which of the twelve elements I haven’t done yet that day. Once you’ve established a routine, when you stop a habit, it will nag, especially when it’s something you know is good for you.
Once you’ve set up your card file box with its two sections, ME and DELEGATE, all you have to do is use the file and cards to give you and your family direction. Every morning, you’ll look in your card file at your ME section and go over your twelve element cards (in 21 days, you’ll have them memorized). Look at the daily card that tells what the day’s focus is, and let that theme guide you through the day. You’ll also have the habit cards you’ve decided are your responsibility, as well as the daily cards you’ve decided are yours.
At the beginning of each week you need to note what department you are in and explain to your family about the department and the cards for that week. Have the card file in a place the whole family has access to. You can rotate the dividers each week, having the current week and department in the front of the file box. When you establish cleaning times using your weekly plan, the cards can come out and be divvied up or given to cleaning help. The 3x5 job cards are such a great delegating tool. The written word has more authority than a woman’s voice (even if it has been altered to sound sweet and loving).
Even the jobs behind the DELEGATE section can become routine. My housekeeper doesn’t need to see cards for what she does in our home, and after she’s left, if she skipped anything, it glares at me. It’s rare when this happens, but when it does, I make a note of it and tell her the next time she comes to clean.
I remember when Peggy and I were teaching our 3x5 card file system, our mom came to one of the classes. When we had our students make out all the cards using the list in our book, our mom, being the BOP that she was, found an additional job that she thought she might need to make a card for. It was Clean the groove in the sliding patio door. I remember telling her I didn’t need that card because every day I put dog kibble in the groove and Chelsea did a very nice job of cleaning it, thank you very much.
Okay, my adorable peacemakers, here’s the deal: your card file system is a tool to give you direction. I suggest seeing it as sort of an atlas. You probably have a Rand McNally and I’ll bet you only use it when you need direction. Have you gone to every place in your atlas? Of course you haven’t, and you don’t feel guilty over it. The card file is no different. If you have tasks in the file and you don’t do them, don’t feel guilty. Do you feel guilty because you’ve never been to Djibouti?
Use the cards for direction until you know the way. That’s ultimate freedom and peace.
Secrets from this chapter: